Anniversary

Russ and I have been together for two years. That is hard to believe...I don't have a good track record for relationships, so two years is crazy....but it's so great...sigh....I actually wrote this almost a year ago, but I think it makes sense to post it now.

CLOUDWALKERS

Reach down to me,
pull me from the turbid mire.
Drench me in light.
Kiss me with your warming lips,
remind me why I'm here.

Crystal drops soak my skin,
with the gentle touch of a thunderstorm.
Look me in the eye...
Show me your soul.

Vines intertwined,
we walk among the clouds.
Elated...I'm afraid.
I've never been here before.

I stand here with you
Between lightning and light...
Higher than I've ever been,
You're what I need.

Glimmer

I have grown tired
of this life's restrictions.
I long to stretch
My ill-used wings
and fly far away.

If only I could turn
back the tireless hands of time,
and capture all the perfect moments
to keep in my pocket.
There has to be a reason for all this madness.

I want to glimmer like I used to,
long before I became jaded to everything.
I want to sparkle brighter than the starry night.
I wish to shine.

I wish I could step out of my head
for just one day,
to actually know what it is to see the
World through rose-coloured glasses...
What must that be like?

Trapped by Language

Today is my day off, so while Russ was at work, I decided to camp out in front of the tv...
I ended up watching Sunday afternoon news on CBC. The death toll resulting from the tsunami has now reached 150 000, and there are still bodies washing up on shore in some places...
They did a recap of the week's events, as well as interviewed various Canadian survivors. I can't wrap my brain around it. I just can't. I see the video, hear the stories, read the articles, and I just can't imagine the horror going on in those stricken countries. Indonesia's death toll alone is over 80 000. At moments like this, it makes me so thankful to be in Canada, yet I feel guilty enjoying my cushy bed when people are sleeping on a dirt floor in an open-air temple, their whole lives having been swept away by water. There is a little boy in India who has a hole in his heart, and is to have surgery on the 10th, but his mother doesn't want to leave the temple where they are staying because she will lose her place to bring him back to to recover. Jan 08th there is a national memorial in Ottawa at noon. All flags on government and federal buildings are to be lowered to half-mast today...there is much to think about, and reflect on. Welcome to 2005.

12.25.04

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Home for Christmas

Ah...Olds...
I went to Bower Place mall in Red Deer....I worked there for a year, and I never realized how big Edmonton malls are in comparison. (That sounds so ditzy...) It was surreal...its been so long since I've been there...it was like being in a different country in a way...by the way, the "Avril Lavigne/Ashlee Simpson" look is really really BIG there.

Its only 5 days until Christmas, but I really don't feel like it's Christmas...I have my shopping done, presents wrapped, the tree is decorated, the Cup is christmas busy, christmas music is everywhere...yet it doesn't really feel Christmasy to me.
Oh well...its nice to be at home.

Marks.

It feels so great to be done the semester....it's been a long haul...
I just checked my marks, and I got a B in my American literature class!!!! (That was the class with the scary prof, who I thought was going to fail me because I didn't agree with her...but obviously not!) It's such an exhilarating feeling to do okay in a class that you were sure you would fail...
I can't wait to go home for Christmas, but the problem with going home means that I'm not going to want to return to Edmonton and work after....oh well..
I don't have much else to say...so i'm gonna go read.

Christmas Music Burnout

I have been trying to make another Christmas CD for the Cup, because there are only about 4 or 5 good discs there, and it makes me crazy listening to those five over the period of several hours...however...there are only so many songs out there, and there are only so many different ways to sing Silent Night...
The recording industry seems to think that no one will be able to tell if a song is a Christmas one unless they put the sound of bells in the background. Will the madness ever end???
Oh well. Only two weeks until Christmas...

It's because they're Asian, isn't it? Steph and Gretchen...

Aren't we lovely? Me, Steph and Erika...

Aww...aren't they cute? (Rebecca and Gretchen) 

Gretchen and I...I look like a freak because it's really hard to keep a straight face when there are 15 people gonging around you!

Gretchen and Erika!

Don't we all look spiffy? The Cuppers at Moxie's, a farewell for Gretchen and Brennan.

I Think I Have the BrainRot...

I'm supposed to be writing an excessively long literary review on anorexia nervosa for my medical anthropology class, complete with an annotated bibliography...due tuesday...however, I have a final on tuesday as well, so I have to have the paper finished by Monday so that I can study for the final. (Hooray for Faulknerian sentences!!) I haven't started it yet...in fact, I haven't even got all my sources together yet...and now I am writing a post...Hooray for procrastination!! I can't wait for this semester to be over...I hope that next semester doesn't suck mooseballs...My classes appear to be potentially interesting, so we shall see.

I'm so proud of myself! I have over half of my Christmas shopping done!! I think that it is a great feeling to have all my shopping done...I'll have to wait until after the 7th to finish though, because by then, I will be done school for the semester!! It is snowing out...I have mixed feelings about that, because it never feels like Christmas without snow, but it was so WARM!!! Oh well...so it goes. I must say that I am getting sick of Christmas music though...we aren't allowed to play anything BUT at the Cup, and there are only so many songs available...so yeah...

I'm addicted to online shopping. Especially sephora and amazon...they are so great...and it actually is a good thing in terms of purchasing because I have to really decide whether or not I want something before ordering, plus I can get stuff that is hard-to-find or inaccessible for me...I highly recommend it...if you have a small amount of willpower, that is. I just bought the new Rammstein album, Reise, Reise. I love them!! There's something about a bunch of dorky guys singing in german...

Wow...I'm really rambling about nothing now...shows how much I DON'T want to work on that stupid paper....However... I think my OVID session is gonna time-out soon, so gotta get back to it...

Sleep Deprivation Broke my Brain...

Um...i have had no sleep...my brain is broke...i have to discuss things...i hate essays more than anything...except colour wheels...i hate colour wheels...and ice cream...i like ice creams...have to work at the cup...hope the customers don't expect an intelligent barista...it's just not happenin'...yo. i gottat go to bed. just had a jones to blog, but nothin' to say. "finding neverland" was an awesome movie! johnny depp and kate winslet....sooooo goood....see it and be pleasantly surprised.

Darn Skippy.

I'm so sick of being a student. There seems to be some sort of status to being a college or university student. It seems to justify having a crappy job, and a cheapo apartment, as well as looking all strubby and wearing pjs in public. These are definitely perks, but when you think about all of the work and time and life school absorbs, its hard to remain thrilled about this. I am up to my eyeballs in homework and reading...(who thought that being an English major would require reading....) I'm supposed to be writing a 2000 word paper on a discussion of "what is a Woman" according to Freud, De Beauvoir and Bourdieu...it was due on Thursday, but the class conspired before class on Tuesday and managed to bribe our prof into giving an extension to this Tuesday...you'd THINK that that would give me more time to write it and get it done...but being the hardcore procrastinator that I am, I am leaving it until the last moment. I'm gonna say that it is a great adrenaline rush to finish late at night the day before it is due...but I think I just have a pension for stress. My plan is to have an ulcer before Christmas break...and no life until then...

I Want a Band!

I wish that I was musically inclined. Rather, more so...I can play the piano...and that's about it. I want a band. It would be called Jill's Smirking Revenge, and it would ROCK SO HARD! Yup, and the name of the first album would be "If Courtney Can Do It..." Because if Courtney Love can have a band with her tone-deaf voice, then why can't I???

Rock On, Sistas

Welcome to the Gong Show.

I have come to the conclusion that my life is one big, ginormous Gong Show!!! Seriously. Giant. Gong. Show. I am the host. Welcome to my Gong Show. Please. Take a seat. Sit back. Be amused and concurrently glad that this is not YOUR Gong Show. Maybe you have one of your own, but mine is bigger!! With more crazy peoples!! So seriously, I welcome you to the Freakin' Gong Show. I wonder how many times I can type Gong Show before I go crazy...Wait...I have a Gong Show. I AM crazy! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
I need chocolate.

Big Dumb Combat Boots.

I wish that I had ginormous, scary, hardcore combat boots that I could use to kick people with. Not everyone, just those yucky people who really need it. I could be like some kind of dark crusader...I could have a cape!! But no leotards. Is it wrong that I like the name Vendetta? I'm told that I am like her...I want to make things....terrible things...because some people really are stoopid. Happy Turkey Day.