11.23.2007

Random Acts of Road Rage

So tonight, Russ, Smeagol and I were the latest victims of Edmonton road rage. We were driving home from west ed, and we were turning right onto stoney plain road, and we were being this Grand Vitara who was going about 15 km/hr and going to get us in an accident, so I honked once, and the driver actually SLOWED DOWN. So I got around them, and Russ looked over, and he was TEXTING, and gave Russ a "whatcha gonna do about" wave!!! So Russ flipped him off. At this point, he switched into our lane and started to tailgate, and we both figured, eh, impotent jerk, what does it matter in the grand scheme of things...
We then pulled up to a red light at the intersection of 142 St, and the guy was in the lane next to us. He screeched to a stop, jumped out of the vehicle, and came ripping over to us. We heard a *thunk* on the trunk as he slapped it on the way around to Russ' side of the car. He ripped open Russ' door (lesson--KEEP YOUR DOORS LOCKED!!) and hesitated, because he wasn't a big guy, and Russ is a big guy with an almost brushcut and a giant neck...then he yelled in a heavy lebanese accent "Who did you give the finger to?! What were you fingering me for, you SOB?!" Russ said, "Dude, you were TEXTING while driving!! That's NOT SAFE!" The guy said something else, I told him to get lost, and then he did the classic bar-bitch thing, and pulled away like he was going to walk off, only to punch Russ in the jaw! Luckily, the guy was weak, and hardly even made contact at all (Russ said I could throw a harder punch!) Russ yanked the door closed, and I locked the power locks, and the guy tried to rip the door open again!! At this point, I think he realized that we could have a machete under the seat, and that Russ had about 40 lbs on him, because he went skipping back around the car, and thunked the trunk on the way back (you can see a nice spot where there's no dirt now) I wanted to roll down the window and shout " We have your plate number and are calling the cops", but Russ thought it wasn't worth it, and that we didn't know what he may do... So if anybody sees a maroon Grand Vitara with a Lebanon banner, give serious thought to keying the driver's door.