Home for Christmas

I went to Bower Place mall in Red Deer....I worked there for a year, and I never realized how big Edmonton malls are in comparison. (That sounds so ditzy...) It was surreal...its been so long since I've been there...it was like being in a different country in a way...by the way, the "Avril Lavigne/Ashlee Simpson" look is really really BIG there.

Its only 5 days until Christmas, but I really don't feel like it's Christmas...I have my shopping done, presents wrapped, the tree is decorated, the Cup is christmas busy, christmas music is everywhere...yet it doesn't really feel Christmasy to me.
Oh well...its nice to be at home.



It feels so great to be done the semester....it's been a long haul...
I just checked my marks, and I got a B in my American literature class!!!! (That was the class with the scary prof, who I thought was going to fail me because I didn't agree with her...but obviously not!) It's such an exhilarating feeling to do okay in a class that you were sure you would fail...
I can't wait to go home for Christmas, but the problem with going home means that I'm not going to want to return to Edmonton and work after....oh well..
I don't have much else to say...so i'm gonna go read.


Christmas Music Burnout

I have been trying to make another Christmas CD for the Cup, because there are only about 4 or 5 good discs there, and it makes me crazy listening to those five over the period of several hours...however...there are only so many songs out there, and there are only so many different ways to sing Silent Night...
The recording industry seems to think that no one will be able to tell if a song is a Christmas one unless they put the sound of bells in the background. Will the madness ever end???
Oh well. Only two weeks until Christmas...



I Think I Have the BrainRot...

I'm supposed to be writing an excessively long literary review on anorexia nervosa for my medical anthropology class, complete with an annotated bibliography...due tuesday...however, I have a final on tuesday as well, so I have to have the paper finished by Monday so that I can study for the final. (Hooray for Faulknerian sentences!!) I haven't started it yet...in fact, I haven't even got all my sources together yet...and now I am writing a post...Hooray for procrastination!! I can't wait for this semester to be over...I hope that next semester doesn't suck mooseballs...My classes appear to be potentially interesting, so we shall see.

I'm so proud of myself! I have over half of my Christmas shopping done!! I think that it is a great feeling to have all my shopping done...I'll have to wait until after the 7th to finish though, because by then, I will be done school for the semester!! It is snowing out...I have mixed feelings about that, because it never feels like Christmas without snow, but it was so WARM!!! Oh well...so it goes. I must say that I am getting sick of Christmas music though...we aren't allowed to play anything BUT at the Cup, and there are only so many songs available...so yeah...

I'm addicted to online shopping. Especially sephora and amazon...they are so great...and it actually is a good thing in terms of purchasing because I have to really decide whether or not I want something before ordering, plus I can get stuff that is hard-to-find or inaccessible for me...I highly recommend it...if you have a small amount of willpower, that is. I just bought the new Rammstein album, Reise, Reise. I love them!! There's something about a bunch of dorky guys singing in german...

Wow...I'm really rambling about nothing now...shows how much I DON'T want to work on that stupid paper....However... I think my OVID session is gonna time-out soon, so gotta get back to it...


Sleep Deprivation Broke my Brain...

Um...i have had no sleep...my brain is broke...i have to discuss things...i hate essays more than anything...except colour wheels...i hate colour wheels...and ice cream...i like ice creams...have to work at the cup...hope the customers don't expect an intelligent barista...it's just not happenin'...yo. i gottat go to bed. just had a jones to blog, but nothin' to say. "finding neverland" was an awesome movie! johnny depp and kate winslet....sooooo goood....see it and be pleasantly surprised.


Darn Skippy.

I'm so sick of being a student. There seems to be some sort of status to being a college or university student. It seems to justify having a crappy job, and a cheapo apartment, as well as looking all strubby and wearing pjs in public. These are definitely perks, but when you think about all of the work and time and life school absorbs, its hard to remain thrilled about this. I am up to my eyeballs in homework and reading...(who thought that being an English major would require reading....) I'm supposed to be writing a 2000 word paper on a discussion of "what is a Woman" according to Freud, De Beauvoir and Bourdieu...it was due on Thursday, but the class conspired before class on Tuesday and managed to bribe our prof into giving an extension to this Tuesday...you'd THINK that that would give me more time to write it and get it done...but being the hardcore procrastinator that I am, I am leaving it until the last moment. I'm gonna say that it is a great adrenaline rush to finish late at night the day before it is due...but I think I just have a pension for stress. My plan is to have an ulcer before Christmas break...and no life until then...


I Want a Band!

I wish that I was musically inclined. Rather, more so...I can play the piano...and that's about it. I want a band. It would be called Jill's Smirking Revenge, and it would ROCK SO HARD! Yup, and the name of the first album would be "If Courtney Can Do It..." Because if Courtney Love can have a band with her tone-deaf voice, then why can't I???


Rock On, Sistas

Welcome to the Gong Show.

I have come to the conclusion that my life is one big, ginormous Gong Show!!! Seriously. Giant. Gong. Show. I am the host. Welcome to my Gong Show. Please. Take a seat. Sit back. Be amused and concurrently glad that this is not YOUR Gong Show. Maybe you have one of your own, but mine is bigger!! With more crazy peoples!! So seriously, I welcome you to the Freakin' Gong Show. I wonder how many times I can type Gong Show before I go crazy...Wait...I have a Gong Show. I AM crazy! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
I need chocolate.


Big Dumb Combat Boots.

I wish that I had ginormous, scary, hardcore combat boots that I could use to kick people with. Not everyone, just those yucky people who really need it. I could be like some kind of dark crusader...I could have a cape!! But no leotards. Is it wrong that I like the name Vendetta? I'm told that I am like her...I want to make things....terrible things...because some people really are stoopid. Happy Turkey Day.


Food for Thought

It is this belief in a power larger than myself and other than myself which allows me to venture into the unknown and even the unknowable.
~Maya Angelou


Damn You Jerry Bruckheimer!

So on Monday, I settled in to watch the season premiere of CSI: Miami. I was totally pumped. On the preview it said that one of the CSIs wasn't going to survive the investigation. I totally wanted it to be the blonde chick, because I love all the other characters, but she is kinda annoying. And what do they do? They killed off SPEED!! Besides Horatio, Speed was my favorite character! I was very very upset...I actually cried when they showed the funeral. Jerry Bruckheimer sucks! The show won't be the same without him...


Its All Part of the Job...

I have torani in my hair. I could make a killing selling a body scrub made of coffee grinds. Any of you steal my idea, and you will taste my pain!

There is a Special Circle of Hell Reserved for You!

I went to the school bookstore to purchase "literature" for my lovely classes...and it gave me an ulcer! The pain started as I elbowed (LITERALLY!) my way down the stairs into the bowels of educational hell. Using tactics usually reserved for slamming people into walls and such, I made my way to the anthropology section. I only had to buy three books for my medical anthropology class...doesn't that make me sound smart?...anyways, since I am still waiting on my stupid loans, I decided that I would only get the books that I need immediately, so I grabbed the rather thin paperback entitled " Understanding Medical Anthropology" and almost vomited when I looked at the barcode. 106.25 frickin' dollars!!!!! Then I had to make my way to the line, surrounded by freaks who don't know the meaning of personal boundaries...then, to top it all off, the cashier was a total cow! ARGH! Stupid U of A! Whatever!


Silicon Phantom Limbs

Here I am, sitting in the dark, typing away. I'm using the laptop, but sitting in the chair I normally use for the other computer. Every so often, I reach down to use the mouse, but the cursor doesn't move. The disconnect is jarring until consciousness and brain stem meet, and I reach for the touchpad.

Not only am I sitting in a room with 3 computers (two of which are running) but I've committed mouse use to muscle memory.

And yet I have a girlfriend.

The law of averages holds again.


War of the Dishes

I don't think that they did anything to deserve it...I say down with Dish terrorism!! The carnage must be stopped! The government of the Republic of Cass has decided to take drastic and controversial measures to put an end to the endless and senseless violence that has befallen our lovely republic. Confiscation of all weapons will begin today at 19:00 hours. There is an extremely complex and involved plan of action in the works, although details are still classified information. Many Dish-rights activist groups are rallying behind the decision of the government, building a following amoungst all citizens. We will continue to update the nation's fight on terrorism as new information is made available.


Cher Is Coming to Town!

I'm so pumped! Cher is coming to town tomorrow! She is so fun...oh wait. Yeah...this is the point at which I explain that Cher is my little sister, not as in Sonny and Cher...
Cher is 7 years younger than me, but so fun. I plan to show her the town...although that could cause some problems, because, well...she is really pretty and guys tend to check her out...and she is somewhat naive in that respect, and doesn't notice, but I do. And I don' t like guys checking out my little sister, because she's my LITTLE sister! And NO one should be checkin' her out. (l'm very protective of my younger sisters, even though all three of them are bigger than me and can hold their own...except against me...but that's beside the point...what was the point???) Anyways, it should be a fun week!



Yup, you guessed it. Another poem. Yay.
The moon is jealous
as the world is in languid slumber.
Yet sleep does not drench
Her pale translucent skin
Until dawn approaches...
In her domain, she watches
over all.

As elaborate as a blue diamond symphony,
the intricate mist of the
Sun goddess envelopes us.
Her rich-toned honey music
steals us away,
Oblivious to all but us.

Daylight shimmers as
Earth goes about her usual business,
A subtle silver dust
begins to settle...
Night draws near.


Russ is an Idiot.

'nuff said.

Pollution, moral and otherwise

Yup. It's Russ posting here... I don't know to what extent I'll make this blog into a collective enterprise, since that would require conquering my sloth. (Really... it's sitting on my keyboard, and it bit me the last time I tried to move it)


Guinea Pigs

So don't you all feel so special? You get to be the first people ever to read a poem by me. Don't make fun of it because I am very protective of my work and I will be forced to kick your butt. Please understand what a big step this is...That's right. This is one of my favorite ones, because of the bizarre imagery.


Here, in my bed

A screaming sun goddess

Void of bitterness

I live a thousand true moments.

The urging summer petal storms

Pound in my head for eternity.

'Please stop' i ache,

but their delicate pink beauty manipulates my language.

Beneath the frantic chocolate spray,

You glistened among a million blue diamonds

as in a dream.

I am reminded of a long-ago image

stored deep in my subconsciousness

Now brought to light.

Crying, I am

Asleep and dreaming of

Visions of You,


"We are delirious, but not Mad."

So there you have it.


The Conversion...

I feel that it is time for my to explain how the idea for this blog was planted. One of my favorite co-workers one day sent me a link to her blog, Life's Anthems. I read it, and thought it was awesome, just like Erika. I thought that if I could create something even half as cool as the things she has posted, then I'd be in business. Although she is the Scapegoat, in this case, i think, she can take CREDIT, rather than blame. Thanks Erika.

Blast from the Past.

I had a surreal experience the other day...I was at work, grinding beans, and I turned around, and was face-to-face with a character from a different time. Standing there at the counter was Victoria. We used to work together, and would hang out all the time. We had wicked fun...but then she quit and moved back to her parents' place when she found out that she was pregnant, and we drifted apart completely. So we had a brief catch-up chat, but it was busy and so I had to cut it short. But it got me thinking about things back then. I was very very different...I was Crazy Cass! Wild and crazy, but immature in many ways. I've changed a lot, and seeing her kind of made that actually sink in. I first met Russ back then..and all I told him is that he couldn't come out with us anymore because every time he came out with me and my friends, the dj would play crappy crappy music...its a good thing that he looked past that!!!....People that knew me then and now have told me I've changed a lot over the few years, and now, for the past day or two, I've been rolling everything around in my head...Have I changed for the better? I think so. Am I happier? Not necessarily, but definitely more comfortable with myself. I think that I needed to be who I was and experience what I did, to explore myself as well as the rest of the world. I'm sure this sounds completely cliched, but it's true. Its fascinating how one small moment in a "normal" day can ignite something so much bigger...


Thought for the Day...

If knowledge is power, then there are a LOT of powerless people out there...
Why do weird guys always hit on girls at the most rediculous moments? I was on my way to work this morning, bright and freakin' early, and there is this weird guy that delivers the Journal in the neighborhood that I try to avoid, because he's creepy. Anyways, he surprised me by popping out of a building, and starts to talk to me. He asks me if I was going to work at the coffee shop, so I told him I worked in the business next door. He said he's seen me in my uniform, and wonders why I don't work at the coffee shop anymore. I said i was late for work. So he asks if he can take me for--get this--Coffee! this weekend. I said that my boyfriend wouldn't appreciate that at all, and so he says, "Well he doesn't have to know, does he?" with a wink. I said that I would mind and ran off. Not only is he a complete creepo, but he's morally bankrupt too! I warned everyone at the store that he may show up sometime, and for them to tell him that I was dead or something... but I find it rather rediculous that I should have to even worry about such a thing...some people just never get the hint, do they?


You'll Have to Speak Up Sir!

While at work today, I had a sleep-deprivation-induced epiphany: people have not been taught how to speak clearly. (Yes...I know what you are thinking--"it took you THAT long to discover this?!?") There are the people who think that a cell phone will work better if you YELL EVERYTHING YOU SAY INTO THE MOUTHPIECE, as well as the people who talk so quietlyandquicklythatyouhavetohavethemrepeatthemselves...repeatedly. It really bugs me when someone mumbles something, and, upon my request for a repeat, instantly assume that I am of a lower intelligence than they are, and so must. speak. very. slowly. and. emPHAsizedly. (Is that a real word?...asks the English Major...) I wish that there was some delicate way of telling someone that they need to improve their speech delivery...maybe I could start my own card company for the sole purpose of delivering such suggestions "delicately"...Work often induces such nonsensical ponderings...but, alas, you must all suffer them now HAHA!


Testing My Limits?

I'm not sure why I have decided to join the blogdom...perhaps out of boredom, or something else entirely. Perhaps it is a pressing need for new and inventive ways of expressing myself, or some such nonesense, or maybe it is simply a new form of technological self-indulgence...or something entirely different. For now let us say that it is a place for me to "organize" my brain, or to simply vent. So we shall leave it at that...for now...